Hello once again, fans of the Curiously Dead Cat! This Monday, Weekly Shonen Jump launched a new jumpstart, and you know what that means—time to Saunter! (Please note that this post contains Amazon Associate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Yup, I’ve gone commercial!) Once again, you get my unvarnished first impressions as we go along… for better or worse…
Jumpstarts
Seiji Tanaka: Secretary to the Managing President, General Time Industries
… snort Wha- huh? Oh! Sorry, I fell asleep reading the title. -1 points right out of the starting gate.
A cold and colorful first page. A mysterious person with a red eye promises to “change the future”. Off to a quick start. +1
Then we get the episode cover page, indicating our main character (same guy: wears glasses and has red eyes). He is clearly labeled “Battle Secretary”. Sounds awfully similar to “Combat Butler“, but we’ll let it go for now. I like the idea of a battle secretary. +1
Oh nice, the cover page is a cover spread, two pages wide! And on the other half we get get a cheesy grinning fellow labeled “High Schooler (President?)”. He looks like Naruto if he were drawn in One Piece and dressed a la Bleach. Well, I guess that’s one way to make sure your series is popular. Points for chutzpa! +1
The chapter starts, and we find ourselves in some sort of arcade: darts, bowling, karaoke, and the like. Meh. -1
Apparently some kid was goofing off at the arcade so much that he forgot to fill in his “career aspirations form”. You know already what I think about paperwork in manga. -1
Hmm… now that I think about it, Delinquent-kun looks like the “President?” we saw at the beginning. Though it’s hard to tell since now we’re in black and white. Anyway, Delinquent-kun gets an earful from his teacher, only to blow off the form again to play a video game. Like, seriously? Like, why? Look, you’re reducing my vocab to sitcom levels! Please stop! -1
A time machine drops into the room. It seriously looks like they ripped off the phone booth from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. -1 points for plagiarism, but +1 for chutzpa!
Our battle secretary steps out looking like the Terminator… Ok, you know what? This is getting ridiculous! -1 points, +1 chutzpa.
Yup, this kid is the president—or will be. Dun dun dun! So far not that surprising. -1
Turns out the kid/president/Delinquent-kun is being targeted by assassins from a rival corporation—also from the future. Battle Secretary is here to protect him. sigh Terminator II. -1 points, +1 chutzpa…
Aaaaand the police haul the Battle Secretary off to jail in handcuffs. Delinquent-kun heads out to buy Jump! I did not see that coming. +1!
Future assassin shows up and robotically announces intention to kill Delinquent-kun. Like we didn’t see that coming. -1
Future assassin singes future president’s hair with a massive Bakugo Blast! (My Hero Academia reference?) Battle Secretary (whose initials, I just realized, are “B.S.”) shows up just in time, having escaped police custody. Assassin declares he will kill both of them—then suddenly disappears, struck by an explosive business card. “In this era, meetings must begin with the exchange of business cards, yes?”
Let’s stop a moment to appreciate this. As an office worker, who has undergone the ritual card exchange hundreds if not thousands of time, I find the concept of a weaponized business card… cathartic. +2!
Assassin some how survives. And escapes. You had one job, B.S. -1
B.S. explains that Delinquent-kun is going to start a business that makes trillions very quickly and changes the world: a business that refines time travel into a marketable concept. He gives as examples “Time insurance, to prevent accidents from ever happening. Or zero-day delivery, which sends parcels to the past the moment one places an order.” Hey, that’s kinda cool! +1!
Cue the Dark Side music: The other company took over this one, and now is sending an assassin back in time to complete their hostile take over. Geeze, that’s harsh. And probably a little excessive. And even more probably far more expensive than you’d need to accomplish your goal. -1
Kid wakes up the next day to B.S. reading him his schedule. (“I am a secretary.”) Kid notices that B.S. cleaned his room. (“You seriously lined up my whole Boobs of Kaiderian series on the bookshelf with the others?!”) Ha ha! +1 points, but -1 to me for not having a secretary to manage my life this well.
Kid loses horribly at soccer. B.S. compiles data and wants to show him conclusions which will presumably help him play better. Kid blows him off and heads out to arcade. -1 points for reminding me of the paperwork back at the beginning.
After spending time at the arcade, B.S. and kid have a brief heart-to-heart in which Delinquent-kun opens up about his insecurities, such as that he feels like he is a “loser”. A fiery beam reminds him that he really needs to focus on other insecurities, or he will wind up “dead”. Assassin returns. Good pacing. +1
B.S. defeats assassin with ink (it hardens like a crystal cocoon), business cards, and his ultimate finishing move: Authorization Stamp! +1 for sheer cheesiness.
Kid heads home and… quickly fills out his career aspirations. +1 for a positive note I didn’t see coming, -1 for—you guessed it—paperwork!
Final Score:
-3 points, +4 chutzpa
Verdict:
Take your time reading it.
Continuing Awesomeness
My Hero Academia
Guys, there’s a bit of a spoiler her. Ok, so it’s a really big spoiler. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll turn the text white, but not all devices may honor that. Might want to cover the next line with your hand just to be on the safe side.
Ok, ready? Here goes: Endeavor gets killed.
Really, that’s all you need to know. I’m going to go sob in my corner over there.
Ok, to make you feel better, why not take a look at this adorable Funko Pop of Todoroki? If you can’t comfort Shoto directly, cuddling with one of these is probably the next best thing.
Dr. Stone
The good guys continue their quest to sneak their ginormous “cell phone” into the enemy camp, so they can broadcast propaganda! An enemy spy spots them, and quickly moves to warn her leaders. What’s more, they seem unable to stop her because she knows an art long lost: Gymnastics!
We Never Learn
So the last couple of weeks have actually—and I kid you not—had some sort of plot! That is, we’ve stopped doing one-off episodes and are now moving storywise again. Oh boy, how do I summarize this one? Let’s see: Nariyuki is roped into playing the role of the prince in “Sleeping Beauty” at the last minute, which Furihashi’s friends set up deliberately because they wanted to get the two of them to kiss, but Nariyuki almost doesn’t make it because he gets into the wrong costume (a swashbuckling cat), which was intended for his teacher, who is supposed to give a history lecture, but her peers thought that sounded too boring for a festival so they made her wear the costume, but she grabbed the wrong costume and wound up wearing a tight dancing outfit, so tight she couldn’t take it off again, and so she had to dance and sing in a concert unexpectedly, and that caused tons of people to come listen to her lecture, while Nariyuki-cum-cat gets chased by people who think he’s the teacher in that costume, and barely makes it to the play in time for his debut, and Furihashi thinks he’s a different (girl) student rushing in to fill in for Nariyuki, and so she kisses the cat costume and Nariyuki freaks out and runs off, and that’s barely half of what’s going on phew!
Seriously, it’s like we’re approaching Shakespeare levels of plot mixups here. 😀
Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V
Once again, I skipped through it and stopped on a random page to read:
“In order to save the world from destruction, Dad instigated the World Illusion and rewound time for the entire planet. When the World Illusion happened, the space between dimensions swallowed my brothers. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but their minds ended up inside me.”
Man, this is starting to remind me of H.P. Lovecraft. Ladies and Gentlemen, behold: The Exposition Dump of Cthulu! (What happened to when this was a story about a kid’s card game?!)
The Promised Neverland
Speaking of dark, our heroes are still battling Leuvis, who still—blind, maskless, injured, and old—manages to avoid falling. Even after someone throws a house at him!
Then Leuvis spears Emma. Looks mortally wounded. You lousy piece of #$%# #$%#$! Keep your hands off my dear Emma!
Food Wars!
… continues to be an Encyclopedia Brown-esque mystery series. Although tbh, it’s kind of cool: Soma and Megumi are now facing off against THE CHEFS OF THE UNDERWORLD!
Black Clover
As the Elves continue decimating the Clover Kingdom, Asta faces off against turned-evil Luck, with the aid of Magna and Vanessa.
Robot x Laserbeam
Robo barely pulls off a win! He advances to the international competition to be held in America! At said competition, he steps out, and takes his first swing, and… the manga ends! Not the episode, the series! Kaboom! It’s over!
The last shot is of his tee spinning off into the air as he hits the ball. At least, I’m reasonably sure it’s the tee. At first I thought it was his club, and I was horribly confused. That would be a very weird way to end a manga about a superb golfer!