I wonder what it’s like being a “normal” person. Sure, I know there’s no such thing. But still, compared to the other people I know IRL, I feel like I’m more fragile.
Why haven’t I posted on here in three months? Not for lack of wanting to, but for a lack of emotional energy. I’ve started drafting five posts for this blog that never got finished in the last few months. And there were more I wanted to but never started.
I had some things to deal with at work; along the way I found that what I consider rude, overbearing, and inconsiderate are considered perfectly acceptable to others. I was having panic attacks and mental shutdowns from stress, but HR put the responsiblity squarely on me. They suggested I reflect on whether this is the right job for me told me I was extra sensitive.
What’s it like to not be extra sensitive?
I was already taking meds, going to therapy, and otherwise trying to get the help I need. Of course, all of that is a lot harder now thanks to Covid-19.
Some days, I’m fine; and other days, it’s all I can do to get out of bed and put in a few hours at work. I’m fortunate to have a great job that I can do from home and comes with excellent health insurance. But I can’t help wondering what it’s like for people who aren’t prone to panic attacks, or bothered by conflict with others.
Often, thinking about work is enough to make me feel like throwing up. And I like my job.
What’s it like to not feel every tiny emotion physically?
What’s it like to be normal?
At least I still have my anime. And my fellow anime fans. You guys are the best.
Ok, I’m going to go make another cup of tea and snuggle up to another simulcast.
Do what you can to take care of yourself. Remember that people can be difficult even in the best of times, and these are not. But remember also that you are neither to blame nor responsible for others’ asinine behavior. Good luck!
Thanks, Moonhawk! You’re right!😎👍
As you said yourself, there is no normal. So many folks that one might think are more on the “normal” side and getting by just fine with life, MAYBE an issue or two here and there, have problems that they are tackling and struggling with more frequently than they would prefer or even people know. I would say that the exception to the rule, are folks that are doing just dandy, lol. We all have our cross to bear in this world, obstacles with mental health, growing up in war torn areas, physical defects, losing loved ones, feeling lonely, no direction and feeling helpless with a career, etc. etc. etc. none of us are alone though, we may have different obstacles and challenges but we’re all in it together. And as you say, we have our anime! Stay optimistic, and fight the good fight(especially when it isn’t easy), to improve ourselves and the world around us. 😀
Thanks, Sunday! I appreciate it. You’re right, of course!
Just because something doesn’t come up to the artificial requirements set by HR doesn’t mean it is not harassment. It never ceases to amaze me the behavior that is considered “acceptable”. I have a few mental health labels applied to me, and yet I often look around and think the so-called “normal” people are much crazier than I am. It really sounds like you are making the effort to work on yourself and learn to take care of yourself in spite of difficulties from other sources. The hardest thing to learn is that we can’t change circumstances, we can only change our reaction to them – or find some (healthy) way to avoid them. Blessings, white light and reiki to you. I’m always here to listen.
Thank you so much, foovay. That means a lot to me.